2016

2016

For the past several years I have hesitated, and by that I mean I don’t do it, to make New Year’s resolutions.  In my youth, I was cheerfully optimistic each time the new year rolled around, setting and proclaiming lofty goals for change and personal betterment.  But, for the last decade, I’ve felt more compelled to quietly and realistically hope for the best without a grand announcement or plan.  Honestly, neither have worked well for me.  The best laid plans, big or small, for the most part have fizzled and, well, died a tragic and horrible death by mid-February or March.  

So, why am I sitting here writing a blog post about the New Year today?  Well, partly because my kids are quietly watching a movie which gave me a second to think and partly because in that second, God spoke.

You can’t really plan for the New Year without reflecting a bit about the old.  2015 was a crazy ride (#adventureswithmark    #adventureswithGod) .  I turned 50 years old, became a grandma for the second time, held down the fort and supported my man as he led a team of incredible people to launch our new church campus, gained another 10 pounds, gave away the smaller clothes I had been holding on to that haven’t fit me for 3 years, got a tattoo, bought the farm of our dreams, and joined a 12 step group.  These events, for the most part, have brought great hope and healing to my life with an underlying wave of gratitude and grace.  But, I’m tired.  I’ve made some great gains emotionally this year, but have neglected my physical health and well being.  I have also experienced a depth in my relationship with Jesus far beyond what I have ever experienced before.  But, I can’t ride that wave forever and I need a plan if I’m going to be effective for Him in the coming new year and beyond.  

Remember when I said God spoke back in the second paragraph?  Well, I wish He would have only said one thing.  I like that “one word for the new year” thing that people do.  But He had more than one word and so it shall be….

LISTEN….He wants me to listen more intently, more openly, more obediently.  Sometimes and in some areas of my life, I do that pretty well.  But I believe His message to me is that there is much, much more that He longs to communicate to me and I want that.  I want all of it.  Honestly, my life is worth nothing if it is not guided, led and empowered by Him.  

GRACE….He wants me to have more grace for others, but also for myself.  He WANTS me to practice self care.  To tend to my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being.  How in the world can I do anything for Him or anyone else if I’m not at my best.  Seriously, my bad for 2015!  I am so out of shape, out of sync, out of energy, out of sorts and just out…. and it’s my own daggone fault.  I have put everyone and everything ahead of my well being and not in a good way.   Ultimately, yes, I want to lay it all down for the ones I love, but I have martyred and prematurely sainted myself and am now, along with my family, dealing with the consequences of my choices.  If you haven’t already seen Jada Pinkett Smith’s video on motherhood and the importance of self care, take a look.  She does a really great job explaining it to her daughter, Willow, and to the rest of us.    And If there’s still anyone out there that hasn’t read Jen Hatmaker’s book “For the Love”, get it today.  Her honesty, humor and wisdom is such a joy and she gives us all permission to give ourselves and others an abundance of grace in this crazy, competitive world we live in.

LEGACY…..He wants me to spend my time sharing what I’ve learned and am still learning about love, life, God, people, family,compassion, serving, surrender, etc.  I always tend to discount the importance of what God has called me to in my life because it’s not grand or impressive really, as most of it takes place in my home and is the absolute antithesis of sexy glam in the biggest possible way.  But, He wants me to share with confidence and courage.  And so I will, with all the hope in the world that He will use it to encourage or challenge or maybe even inspire someone else.  

FEARLESS…..He wants me to be fearless in all of it, which is not even remotely possible unless He intervenes.   2016 is the year to stop listening to the negative tapes that have been playing in my head for the majority of my life.  To not only believe truth, but embrace it and live it out.  Time to make some new tapes and continue to explore my true identity as a daughter of the Most High.

JOY…..He wants me to experience all He has for me, all that “life” throws my way, all circumstances, all situations...the good, the bad, the ugly….with joy.  This will be the most challenging of challenges for me because it’s not just putting on a “good face”, it’s about something more.  If you haven’t subscribed to Ann Voskamp’s blog “A Holy Experience” (aholyexperience.com), it should be one of your new year’s resolutions.  Ann teaches often about joy and gratitude…...that true joy comes from graciously embracing everything that happens with a heart full of gratitude and there, in that place, from that perspective, lies your joy.  God has reminded me relentlessly this past year, through Ann’s teachings,  to value and cherish the joy He promises.  “The joy of the Lord is my strength”.....If something steals your joy, it steals your strength.  Such truth, friends, such truth!  And as I’ve meditated and prayed about this often, I know for my life, joy is very different from happiness.  Here’s a few comparisons that help me keep a proper perspective on joy vs. happiness….

Happiness is circumstantial - Joy is steadfast and unchanging

Happiness is momentary - Joy is everlasting

Happiness is about ME - Joy is a gift to others

Happiness is a constant, strife filled pursuit - Joy is rest, peace and contentment

Happiness is an emotion - Joy is a choice and a discipline

Happiness says “I am in control - Joy says “God is in control”

So, those are my New Year’s resolutions….God help me!  The amazing thing is that He will!  He will help me and He will help you.  He will make our lives count for something more than what we could attain on our own.  He will answer our prayers and heal our hearts and He will use us in the grand scheme of things and in the smallest of holy moments.  He will help us to LISTEN to Him, GIVE GRACE to ourselves and others, and FEARLESSLY and JOYFULLY share what He’s teaching us so that we leave a LEGACY that impacts not only our families but all the dear ones He brings in our lives.  

Here’s to a JOYFUL New Year!  I am grateful to be on this journey with you!

REALITY

REALITY

Today is the day!  Today is the day I set aside to write my very first blog post.  Today is the day my 4 year old got up way too early after not sleeping all night, which means he was not only grouchy, but because he has severe behavioral issues, continuously threw things (big things) spit, hit, screamed, and tackled anything and anyone in his path.  My 5 year old was an olympic level whiner, but who can blame her after being stalked by her little brother all morning! (yet I still found the whining to be profoundly irritating).  My 13 year old was more sullen and disrespectful than usual, and my husband left for work mad at me for a snarky comment I made to him because I was irritated with him.  Mix that all together with a one hour delayed start to the school day and you've got a big ole' pile of poo..... THAT's my reality and it's only 9am!

My first instinct was to delay writing my initial post. After all, I wanted to launch my blog with inspirational anecdotes that were to be lovely, encouraging, uplifting, and memorable in the dearest kind of way.  But, hey, poo isn't pretty and we're all about the "real" here in my house.  A neat and tidy life definitely leaves no room for the opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons (thus the name of my blog).  So, I guess I should be grateful for the LEMON of a morning I had.  How do I get to the makin' lemonade part though????......hmmm......

Deep breath......deeper breath.........Focus.......Truth..........Focus on the Truth.............here comes the lemonade..........

The truth is that what happened today (and, at some point, most days in our house) is REAL, but it's not my REALITY!

My REALITY is Jesus....my. reality. is. Jesus.

My reality is that He sustained me this morning in the midst of extenuating circumstances (no children or animals were harmed in the making of this blog post).  My reality is that He sees me, He knows the deepest parts of me and He holds me while my heart breaks for my kids, even as I write this.  My reality is that I am His and He will give me everything I need today and everyday.  He shares in my suffering, as I share in the suffering of my precious children who've been hurt beyond what I could ever imagine.    My reality is that He called me to this life and, as my loving Father, it is the life He has chosen for me.  I trust Him, so I chose it too.  I wouldn't change it for anything and I would do it all over again in a heart beat.  THAT'S my reality.

So all better, right?  Silver lining found, lemonade made, right?  Nope.  My heart continuously aches for my children of trauma.  I'm completely exhausted and I need to apologize to my husband for the snarky comment this morning.  But, my heart and perspective is again aligned with Christ and, through His strength alone, I will access the Katniss Everdeen inside of me and stay instead of grabbing the credit card and hightailing it outta here "Thelma and Louise style".  I memorized Philipians 4:13 as a child, but never has the verse been so poingnant and alive to me as it is at this time in my life.  "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength".  I CHOOSE to believe this and I will need to CHOOSE to believe at least 10 - 20 more times before the sun goes down.

Whatever your circumstances are today, whether you're single, married without children, married with children, an empty- nester, etc.....let Jesus be your only REALITY.  He's not a genie in a bottle to be summoned to fix and change circumstances to our liking....He's BETTER.  He's sovereign and powerful and right in the middle of the circumstances with you.  He can give you grace and joy despite the crud life throws your way.......My heart is with you today as you bravely stand wherever He has put you and know that  I'll be here where He's placed me in all the chaos that is my life.....makin' lemonade!